HR must really mean Hired Retard

Look, get my shit right, ok? If you can't find a direct deposit advice, and promise me a copy of one for me to fill out ... don't get cute and sign me up for direct deposit based off of a voided check I submitted for something else. Seriously. I actually DO have two checking accounts and you fucked it all up.

See, this is why my paycheck is floating in Chase Bank limbo ... where neighter you not I can get to it. And this is why you had to cut another check, a live one this time, for me to cash. Now, you paid me twice, I only got one (a day late) and you've gotte figure out how to get your money back. This sound very efficient, huh?

And when I ask you how much employee+child coverage is for health insurance, the answer "it's free for employees" is to a totally different question. Maybe one you heard yesterday and have finally had you AHA! moment. It's good to know you have a call in to the health insurance company to answer this question ... especially considering that the health insurance company charges a set fee and it is OUR FUCKING COMPANY who decides what portion of that fee to charge the employees. Fine - we'll wait for them to call you back. I'm sure BC/BS has this data on every one of their 90430853482123 clients.

And when I ask if our open enrollment period is on the calendar year basis, the following is not an answer: No, you can join now. Well, let me correct myself: it *is* actually an answer, just not to the question *I'M* asking. But I'm glad you put that question in to BC/BS as well. Since each of their 90430853482123 clients make up their own minds about this stuff, I'm sure they have that data. You should see the size of their database. WHEW!

And, finally, dear HR - a Passport, even nif it's expired, is just fine as proof of citizenship. It is a List A document on the I-9 ... that means, it's all you need. No, I don't have my social security card. I have my passport. And yes - you may make a photocpy of it. You can make 100 of them. Just make sure you send one to BC/BS.

X - JACK